I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
