I looked at my own cervix.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
