literally had 100 drinks last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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