i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize