no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize