He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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