I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
