i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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