So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm always down for nudity.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize