Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
