If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
