i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
