Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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