I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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