Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
