i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
