im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your penis caused this!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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