You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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