Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
