This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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