More tranny stories later!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
