dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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