I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
