Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
