he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
