I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
