I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
