Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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