Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
