also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
