I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
