I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
