Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
