i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
