Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
