3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
