Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
