Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
