At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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