My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
