All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
