clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
