i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
