when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize