the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
