I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
