you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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