how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Farmville is her only friend.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
