so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i now understand why vodka
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
