Having a random hookup so left but love u
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
