She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
