So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
