but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
