We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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