is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
