Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize