Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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