All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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