Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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